Welcome to 2021! So many of us are looking to quickly turn the page on 2020. It’s done. It’s over, although there are some lingering effects. There is so much to look forward to and now that multiple vaccines and therapeutics are coming online, some things will begin to get back to our former normal…and maybe better. Like almost all of us, I ...read more
Tips For Dealing With Covid During the Holidays
In almost any ordinary year, we would normally see multi-generational families, hopefully enjoying a traditional get-together for the holidays. The very luckiest of families may still be able to do that this year. But for most of us, this is no ordinary year. Being separated from our loved ones over the holidays this year may be harder and ...read more
7 Relationship Conversations for the Next COVID Challenges
So far, you’ve made it through quarantining together. Congratulations. Hopefully you both have taken the time to acknowledge that you faced adversity together and you’re coming out on the other side. Being together at home for that amount of time and sharing your space is no easy feat and you should be proud of your relationship ...read more
How to Relieve Valentine’s Day Pressure
I may be dating myself a bit, but raise your hand if you remember the song, Love is a Many Splendored Thing? Anyone? It was from the 1955 movie of the same title and written by Paul Francis Webster, music by Sammy Fain. It’s been covered by tons of people – from Nat King Cole to Frank Sinatra to Jeff Lynne as recently as 2012. It’s a classic. And ...read more
5 Reasons to Make Friends a Higher Priority This Year
It’s the new year and this is a time that I tend both reflect and look ahead. When thinking about friendships and seeing some people who are close to me struggling in this area, the idea of creating this post came to mind. I hope you find it helpful. This year my resolution is to experience more connection with others. And my intention is to ...read more
How To Fast Track Your Resolutions This Year
Many of us make resolutions and set goals at the beginning of the year. Actually, you may or may not have written them down. I recommend that you do. So, what’s next? What do you do with them for the rest of the year? How often do you revisit those goals that you were so excited about in January, but might have faded by the time you get to ...read more
Coping with the Holiday Season When You’re Feeling Down
Holiday parties every weekend, traveling long distances, decorating your home. Christmas lists from the kids to Santa, Hanukkah presents for eight nights, extra time with extended family. Colder, winter weather (well, as cold as it can get in Southern California!) and endless sweet treats when we’re trying to follow a healthier eating ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 6: Gratitude
We’ve talked about several of the core foundations of love and intimacy, that I have outlined in this series: vulnerability, trust, courage, self-awareness, and kindness. However, one more remains to complete the solid foundation for the basis upon which we can expand our ability to experience the many benefits of being in a loving ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 5: Kindness
Ok. You might be looking at the title and why I am highlighting something that should be obvious – we need to be kind to one another. And you would have a point. It should be obvious but you might be surprised to learn that so many partners have actually lost sight of just how important kindness is. Here’s why. We’ve talked about ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 4: Self-Awareness
Have you ever been in a relationship, but wanted something more? Your partner may have all the boxes checked when it came to height, looks, education, income, and all the other things that we initially may find important. But then at some point, you may start to get the sinking feeling that you’re settling or you begin to realize that ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 3: Living Courageously
Do you know that feeling when you are so vulnerable and scared about something, you can barely bring yourself to even look at your partner in the face? This situation can be very painful because we may be locked into feeling shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, sadness, or anger. And we feel that we have to keep it inside because if we talk about it, ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 2: Trust
There are those moments in every relationship when you may be looking into your partner’s eyes and wondering if you can trust them with your inner world. The ability to trust ourselves and our partner is the true cornerstone - and most important pillar - upon which to build a foundation of love and intimacy. The ability to experience trust in ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 1: Vulnerability
In relationships, we talk about taking them to another level. Maybe it’s the first time you say those three special words, maybe it’s when you take your loved one to meet the parents over the holidays or maybe it’s moving in together. No matter what phase of your relationship you’re in, you can always take it to another level of depth and ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – A Six Part Series: Introduction
Having been in private practice for over 25 years, I have met hundreds and hundreds of individuals and couples who are struggling in their relationships…or lack thereof. Their challenges are many and as diverse as the people I work with. Each person and situation is unique. Having said that, I have learned – and, really, my clients ...read more
Three Phases of Romantic Love
People often ask in one way or another, “Should love change over time?” My response is always, “I certainly hope so!” Why do I say this? It’s fairly simple. I see far too many couples who settle for so much less in their love life. They may have initially fallen in love but after a while, it doesn’t seem to progress much beyond that. People ...read more
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