Our romantic relationships can be some of the most rewarding relationships of our lives. When things are truly going well, we feel happy, fulfilled, and grateful for our partners. We look forward to spending time with our partner whether dating, living together, engaged, or married.
Of course, as with all relationships, things don’t always go the way we hope or planned. One or a combination of life circumstances may have brought one or both of you to the point where you’re tired of arguing. Feeling resentful. Sad that you don’t feel heard. Feeling defensive. Overwhelmed. Withdrawn. Isolated. Things may be so bad now, that you feel both helpless and hopeless. Maybe you’ve reached the point where you don’t even care anymore. The tension between you is so bad that you now feel disconnected as a couple, as friends, and as lovers.
Experience shows that it is helpful to look at what may be getting in the way of your ability to feel close to one another. Most need to learn more effective ways to communicate that actually work.
Sometimes there is an accumulation of hurts that have piled up along the way. These sources of pain create barriers to feeling close. If both of you are willing to look beneath the surface to see what is creating the distance, then there is a better chance of repairing the wounds that are keeping you apart.
These are the times in a couple’s history when it may be difficult to establish and sustain love, much less allow for love to grow and flourish with your partner If you are here, then this is probably one of those times.
Here are specific counseling services that couples find helpful:
More and more couples are now seeking pre-marital counseling while dating or living together. Did you know that couples who receive pre-marital counseling have a 30 percent lower chance of divorcing? Given the fact that 49 per cent of marriages end in divorce, it makes sense to do everything you can as a couple to build a strong foundation for your marriage before you exchange your vows. Doing so can help you learn how to work on current problems before they become long-term stumbling blocks that could ultimately damage your future together.
My couples clients have also reported that pre-marital counseling helps them find out new, and sometimes hidden, wonderful things about their partner that they had never known. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd have been interviewed several times and have praised just how much pre-marital counseling helps strengthen their own relationship. It just makes sense to give your marriage it’s best possible chance to have a great start.
Look at pre-marital counseling the same as you would building a house. Before you can move in, you first need to build a strong foundation first. Once your foundation is solidly built, then you can go ahead and finish your house. When it is completed, you can both move in together with more confidence that you’re in a solid home.
As with any counseling, success is often dependent upon the willingness of your partner to participate. If one partner is unwilling, new research shows that sometimes your marriage may still improve if one of you decides to go to individual counseling. That usually sends a message to your partner that help is needed.
Research also strongly shows that couples who are involved in marriage counseling tend to work better together and increase their chances of enjoying more successful marriages. Given that 49 per cent of marriages end in divorce, this alone is often a powerful incentive to enter marriage counseling.
Working together, I can help you assess just where your relationship is. We’ll figure out what’s working and what’s not working. We’ll explore some of your history together so we can figure out why you arrived at this point in your relationship. We’re also going to be looking at what your strengths are and use your strengths to help you get through all of this.
Once the initial assessment is complete, we can then start to work on a game plan that fits the situation you are in so that you can achieve new levels of real, sustainable connection, love, and fulfillment for both of you.
While no therapist can ever guarantee an outcome, it has been my experience that those couples who love one another and are truly dedicated to working in marriage counseling, can significantly increase the chances that their relationship can be saved and things can work out in ways that work for both of you.
Contact me to see if I am a good fit in order to help both of you to create a better vision of what your relationship can look like.