We’ve talked about several of the core foundations of love and intimacy, that I have outlined in this series: vulnerability, trust, courage, self-awareness, and kindness. However, one more remains to complete the solid foundation for the basis upon which we can expand our ability to experience the many benefits of being in a loving ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 5: Kindness
Ok. You might be looking at the title and why I am highlighting something that should be obvious – we need to be kind to one another. And you would have a point. It should be obvious but you might be surprised to learn that so many partners have actually lost sight of just how important kindness is. Here’s why. We’ve talked about ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 4: Self-Awareness
Have you ever been in a relationship, but wanted something more? Your partner may have all the boxes checked when it came to height, looks, education, income, and all the other things that we initially may find important. But then at some point, you may start to get the sinking feeling that you’re settling or you begin to realize that ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 3: Living Courageously
Do you know that feeling when you are so vulnerable and scared about something, you can barely bring yourself to even look at your partner in the face? This situation can be very painful because we may be locked into feeling shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, sadness, or anger. And we feel that we have to keep it inside because if we talk about it, ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 2: Trust
There are those moments in every relationship when you may be looking into your partner’s eyes and wondering if you can trust them with your inner world. The ability to trust ourselves and our partner is the true cornerstone - and most important pillar - upon which to build a foundation of love and intimacy. The ability to experience trust in ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – Part 1: Vulnerability
In relationships, we talk about taking them to another level. Maybe it’s the first time you say those three special words, maybe it’s when you take your loved one to meet the parents over the holidays or maybe it’s moving in together. No matter what phase of your relationship you’re in, you can always take it to another level of depth and ...read more
The Core Foundations of Real Love and True Intimacy – A Six Part Series: Introduction
Having been in private practice for over 25 years, I have met hundreds and hundreds of individuals and couples who are struggling in their relationships…or lack thereof. Their challenges are many and as diverse as the people I work with. Each person and situation is unique. Having said that, I have learned – and, really, my clients ...read more
How to Know If You Are Marrying the Wrong Person
One of the biggest things that happen in our lives is finding a mate and getting married. This event is a pivotal moment for many people, and something they look forward to long before the event happens. Getting married can also be stressful and scary. But if you have the right partner along for the ride, then things should still be fun and ...read more
Sexual Desire Discrepancies and What To Do About It
Do you feel like your partner wants sex all the time? You hate to say “no” (again), but then, why should you be having sex if you don’t want to? Sexual desire discrepancy is when one partner wants sex more frequently yet the occurrence of actual intercourse doesn’t match the desire. “I’m sorry, honey, not tonight,” is a common area of ...read more
The Wisdom & Art of Flirting
As a therapist, I see both singles looking for a relationship and couples trying to rekindle a spark. You know what both groups of people need more in their lives (and more practice at)??? Flirting. Flirting is to behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, oftentimes for amusement rather than with serious intentions...well, ...read more
Why Physical Touch Is So Important in Relationships
One of the many issues that my clients – and couples in particular – present with are related to the experience of touching and being touched. For a variety of reasons, it seems that we are losing touch (pardon the horrible pun!) with our desire for physical contact. What I am seeing is that electronic “connection” is actually replacing ...read more
10 Things You Can Do To Make Your Relationship Better Right Now
Obviously, there are hundreds of things that you could do to enhance your relationship. Here are ten of those ideas that have proven to be very helpful for many couples with whom I’ve worked. 1. Hold Hands Beyond the simplest display of PDA, scientific studies of couples clearly show that holding hands reduces stress and increases our feelings of ...read more